Discovering More In The Awkward Silences During The Therapy

People usually find it difficult to make half-second eye contact with an unknown person. Then imagine a situation where you are approaching a completely new person and have to share your life details? The awkwardness and the anxiety would be at their peak levels.

The ummed and the ahhes would be quite often when you do not know what you are supposed to talk and from where do you want to start?

We all have been there and it’s a common problem while approaching a therapist. It may sound a new problem with us but therapist are used to face such issues. During such situations, a client usually sees the clock and the therapist is trying hard to keep the conversation engaging. This discomfort zone or the silence in therapy usually needs to be mitigated and the therapist should leave a room for the client’s mind to wander and arise the new feeling of awakening. The discomfort means we are on the edge of starting something really new.

Just like the saying goes, “It’s better to fix the roof while the sun is shining”, it would be advisable to go prepared with a bunch of questions to avoid the awkward silence in therapy and have clear communication. Few tips for preparing are:

• Know what do you want? Have a deeper look inside yourself and try to find out what you really expect from this? Brainstorming is the best way to find out new goals.

• Analyze your feeling. It may sound weird but you need to know what emotions you have experienced in the past week with regards to everything, work, personal life, and others.

• What is holding you back is the apparent question that would arise while going through the process. The fear of being judged, shame or any other thing that is bothering you should be known to you. The mountains that once looked difficult to cross may become a molehill soon. 

• Which things you do not want to disclose to the therapist? Many times we majorly focus on things that we are not going to share and this is an exploration in itself. During that, we may get an answer to our own questions which can thus be helpful.

• How do you feel for the therapist? Obviously, you are approaching a therapist after proper research. If you find that the therapist doesn’t have enough empathy let it go. It may happen that you ponder upon a question, why is therapy so awkward? If you have found the therapy magical, it surely will work for you. 

• Being silent and not knowing what to talk! Silence is also therapy in itself. It can be exactly what you need for that particular period of time irrespective of the situation going outside. 

• Which direction are you going? Analyze what if nothing changes? Where will you see yourself in the next five years? What all is missing from the life that is holding your path to happiness? If something is dragging you back, list it down. 

Sometimes it happens that it’s our silences that speak volumes. Do not worry, you will never be judged while visiting a therapist. They are there to help you, talk to you and know you inside out. You can always reach out to the best psychotherapy in Toronto for a better healing process.